I went to the movies this morning with my entire office team. We do that occasionally for fun and teambuilding. We saw the new Tom Hanks movie about Mr. Rogers called It’s a Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood. We all enjoyed it.
I want to discuss two of its many themes. First, there was redemption. Without giving too much away (Hey, it was a Mr. Rogers movie!), a son reconciles with his estranged father. Often painful to watch, in the end it proved very satisfying. I saw myself in the characters and searched for answers to the unanswerable. Kids don’t come with instruction books. Considering the complex relationships between kids and parents and their often-conflicting desires for guidance and independence, it’s amazing anyone comes through unharmed. In the end, love hopefully wins out. How?!
This leads me to my second theme. Despite what we think we may know about other people, we actually know surprisingly little. We see/learn everything through the lens of our own life experiences. Our beliefs, therefore, are colored (often corrupted) by our own circumstances, context, emotions, biases and maybe even, when we were young, our own immaturity and inability to grasp the actual facts. Is it any wonder we so often disagree? It’s usually no big deal, but when it involves fear, anger, resentment and hatred, the consequences can be life-shattering.
So how did Mr. Rogers address these issues? In his quiet way, he provided the catalyst for resolution. Simply put, he took the time to be fully present with whomever he was talking. He paid complete attention and he listened to what they said. He wasn’t thinking about his response, he was listening intently. As a result, he learned more about them as people and cared enough to respond meaningfully and appropriately. No misunderstandings.
How can this help us? Knowing how fragile relationships are and how easily we can misunderstand one another, there are three takeaways: 1. We may be wrong about other people and their intentions. That’s OK. 2. Fear, hate, resentment and anger are hurtful, unhealthy and unnecessary. They are not OK. 3. Our best chance to get beyond our misconceptions (and find reconciliation and peace) is to truly listen to others trying hard to eliminate our own biases and preconceptions. Find out who they truly are and what they need and want. This can certainly help us in casual relationships, and imagine the positive impact it can have on the important ones like our kids, parents and friends. It may feel like a tough pill to swallow, but it’s a Win/Win.
This all may sound obvious and it is. But it’s hard to do. If it were easy, why would there be so many angry kids and lonely adults? There you have it. Learn from Mr. Rogers. Try hard to be present and listen. Find peace and reconciliation.
Charlie Scarlett
BrightStar Care of Central & South St Louis County
I want to discuss two of its many themes. First, there was redemption. Without giving too much away (Hey, it was a Mr. Rogers movie!), a son reconciles with his estranged father. Often painful to watch, in the end it proved very satisfying. I saw myself in the characters and searched for answers to the unanswerable. Kids don’t come with instruction books. Considering the complex relationships between kids and parents and their often-conflicting desires for guidance and independence, it’s amazing anyone comes through unharmed. In the end, love hopefully wins out. How?!
This leads me to my second theme. Despite what we think we may know about other people, we actually know surprisingly little. We see/learn everything through the lens of our own life experiences. Our beliefs, therefore, are colored (often corrupted) by our own circumstances, context, emotions, biases and maybe even, when we were young, our own immaturity and inability to grasp the actual facts. Is it any wonder we so often disagree? It’s usually no big deal, but when it involves fear, anger, resentment and hatred, the consequences can be life-shattering.
So how did Mr. Rogers address these issues? In his quiet way, he provided the catalyst for resolution. Simply put, he took the time to be fully present with whomever he was talking. He paid complete attention and he listened to what they said. He wasn’t thinking about his response, he was listening intently. As a result, he learned more about them as people and cared enough to respond meaningfully and appropriately. No misunderstandings.
How can this help us? Knowing how fragile relationships are and how easily we can misunderstand one another, there are three takeaways: 1. We may be wrong about other people and their intentions. That’s OK. 2. Fear, hate, resentment and anger are hurtful, unhealthy and unnecessary. They are not OK. 3. Our best chance to get beyond our misconceptions (and find reconciliation and peace) is to truly listen to others trying hard to eliminate our own biases and preconceptions. Find out who they truly are and what they need and want. This can certainly help us in casual relationships, and imagine the positive impact it can have on the important ones like our kids, parents and friends. It may feel like a tough pill to swallow, but it’s a Win/Win.
This all may sound obvious and it is. But it’s hard to do. If it were easy, why would there be so many angry kids and lonely adults? There you have it. Learn from Mr. Rogers. Try hard to be present and listen. Find peace and reconciliation.
Charlie Scarlett
BrightStar Care of Central & South St Louis County