A Day for Dad
As Father’s Day approaches, ads are everywhere, promoting the “perfect” ideas for celebrating your father. You see images of happy, smiling, healthy fathers, golfing, fishing, playing ball, and just generally living full lives, adored by their offspring. Not every father-child relationship is like that, though. What if your dad has dementia? How can you honor him and your relationship, showing him that he is loved and valued, when his cognitive function is slipping, and his memories are clouded? We have some suggestions for making Father’s Day special.Honor Your Relationship
Take some time to remember your dad as he used to be, and remember that he is the same person now, he’s just facing new challenges. This Father’s Day, remind him of how much he is loved and valued by taking a walk down memory lane. Find pictures from your childhood in which he is doing something nice for you, find reminders of his career or charitable work, and talk about his legacy. Reminding him of his past can actually help his cognitive function, as reminiscing triggers different centers in the brain that can boost its function. Plan to spend the day with him, knowing that spending time together is a gift, and make a plan with other family members to celebrate.Plan a Celebratory Day
Work with your spouse, siblings, children, mother, or anyone else who would like to celebrate your dad, and plan a day that will be low-stress and positive for your father. It’s great to bring grandchildren and pets into the mix, but be careful not to have too much going on at once, because that could be overwhelming for your dad. You might work out a visiting schedule in advance, staggering visits throughout the day, bearing your father’s energy levels in mind. Plan to celebrate during the hours in which your father is most alert, and avoid planning visits round a meal, because socializing and eating at the same time can be tiring. Find a location that is comfortable for your dad and doesn’t have many distractions, and be patient with your father if he struggles to communicate.How will you make the Father’s Day celebration special for your dad? For people with dementia, the emotional memory is often the strongest. Affection, hugs, reminiscing, and telling jokes are all good ways to engage your father and help him feel special. Put out photos and beloved objects, and encourage guests to tell stories about memories they share with him.
Choose Your Dad’s Gifts Carefully
Think about objects that will spark conversation or make your dad feel good. You might bring an item that he identifies with a hobby he’s had, like a model of his favorite car or a fishing pole. Here are some other things you might consider gifting your father this Father’s Day.- Something to do together: A simple craft kit, a crossword puzzle book, a jigsaw puzzle, or a model car kit are all gifts that give you something to do with your father.
- Something to trigger happy memories: A digital photo frame is a great idea, because you can load it with photos, both old and new. Invite other family members to send you digital photos, and you can consistently put new ones in, helping him remember his loved ones.
- Something cozy: A comfy sweater, a soft matching top and pants, or a fleece blanket are all things your father can enjoy and appreciate.
- Something to brighten his surroundings: Ask family members to bring cards to the celebration, especially homemade cards, along with artwork created by the grandchildren. Bring him some flowers in cheerful colors. You can also literally brighten his room with a light therapy lamp. Used to treat seasonal affective disorder, these lamps trigger the generation of serotonin in the brain.
- Something to eat: Bring your dad his favorite snacks or cook him his favorite meal. Eating is a multisensory experience that can help stir up memories, and eating together is a bonding experience.
- Something to listen to: Get your father an easy to use music player, with some of his favorite music. Listening to music helps reduce stress, particularly in those with dementia. When you gift him a player that is easy to operate and not confusing, he will be able to listen to music, even when no one else is around.