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What Can You Do When Your Aging Adult Is Being Mean? 

August 24, 2018
Jack Nicol
If your elderly family member has ever done or said something hurtful or mean to you, you might have found yourself quite shocked. There may be emotions behind that need to lash out at you that you need to figure out. The last thing you should do, though, is feel that this is accurate or that you deserve this treatment.

Try to Calm the Situation, if Possible

Volatile situations can often breed mean behavior. If your elderly family member is feeling threatened or upset, now might not be the time to talk about any of this. Do what you can to keep the situation as calm as possible, even if that means that you need to leave the room for a little bit.

Avoid Arguing with Your Senior

Above all, now is not the time to argue with your aging adult. The calmer you can stay the easier it will be to help keep the situation from escalating. Take a deep breath and either agree or don't say anything at all. If you give in and argue back, your elderly family member may say or do more hurtful things and that doesn't help either of you.

Determine What Triggers the Mean Behavior

See if you can figure out what is triggering the mean behavior. Your elderly family member might be tired or in pain, for instance. Or she might be in an unusual situation or an unfamiliar place. All of these different factors can make your aging family member so uncomfortable that she chooses to lash out at you to cause hurt.

Learn Not to Take the Mean Behavior Personally

Most of the time, this behavior is not about you, really. This is often because your elderly family member is experiencing something that makes her unhappy, uncomfortable, or that hurts her. The only thing she can think to do is to lash out and that might mean that you're the only one in the area. Remind yourself that this isn't about you.

Take Breaks from Caregiving

Taking breaks from caregiving can make dealing with mean behavior a lot easier for you. Hire some elder care providers and go do something that you enjoy. This is going to help you to feel happy and joyful in your own life outside of caregiving. When you come back, you'll be better able to handle whatever caregiving throws your way.

As much as the mean behavior likely isn't about you, it still hurts. Be sure to honor that fact and don't incorporate those thoughts and words into your own self-talk. 

If you or an aging loved one are considering caregivers in Tequesta, FL, contact the caring staff at BrightStar Care of Jupiter. Call today (561) 741-1200.