How to Respond When Someone with Alzheimer’s Says “I Want to Go Home”
Holiday visits can be difficult for families with loved one with Alzheimer’s
Here are 3 things to say when your loved one with Alzheimer’s say “I want to go home”.
Hearing a seniors say “I want to go home” over and over again is something Alzheimer’s and dementia caregivers often deal with. It’s especially frustrating to hear when they’re already home. The big question is how to respond in a way that calms them down and helps them let go of the idea. First, it helps to understand why they’re saying this and what they really mean. Next, do your best to not take it personally so you can stay calm too. Then, use one of these 3 kind responses. These calming answers can help you avoid upsetting your older adult or getting into a big fight.
1. Reassure and comfort
Approach your older adult with a calm, soothing, and relaxed manner. If you remain calm, they’ll start calming down too. They’ll pick up on your body language and tone of voice and will subconsciously start to match you. Sometimes saying “I want to go home” is how your senior tells you they’re tense, anxious, scared, or in need of extra comfort. If they like hugs, this is a good time for a big one. Others may prefer gentle touching or stroking on their arm or shoulder or simply having you sit with them. Another way of giving extra comfort and reassurance is to give them a comforting blanket, therapy doll, or stuffed animal to cuddle.
2. Avoid reasoning and explanations
Don’t try to explain that they’re in their own home, assisted living is now their home, or they moved in with you 3 years ago. Trying to use reason and logic with someone who has a brain disease will only make them more insistent, agitated, and distressed. They won’t be able to process that information and will feel like you’re stopping them from doing something they know is important.
3. Agree, then redirect and distract
Being able to redirect and distract is a challenging, but very effective technique. It’s a skill that improves with practice, so don’t get down on yourself up if the first few attempts don’t work perfectly.
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