For many Scottsdale families, Thanksgiving is the one time of year everyone is under the same roof. Adult children fly in from out of state, snowbird relatives arrive for the season, and the house fills up. It's also one of the best chances all year to see how an aging parent or relative is really doing, beyond the "I'm fine" on the phone.
Noticing changes doesn't mean something is wrong. It gives your family a clearer picture, so you can plan ahead together and keep your loved one comfortable and independent at home.
Why the holidays are a good time to notice
Phone calls and video chats only show so much. A full day together lets you see the everyday details: how someone moves around the house, what's in the fridge, how they handle a busy afternoon. If you haven't visited since spring, changes that happened gradually may be easier to spot.
This article is educational and does not replace medical advice. If you notice changes in health, memory, or mood, share them with your loved one's healthcare provider.
What to look for
Around the house and kitchen
- Mail, bills, or newspapers piling up
- Expired food in the fridge, or very little food at all
- Housekeeping, laundry, or repairs falling behind
Getting around, including driving
- Holding onto furniture or walls, or difficulty getting up from a chair
- New bruises, or mentions of a fall or "close call"
- New dents or scrapes on the car, getting lost on familiar routes, or family members feeling uneasy as passengers
Health and personal care
- Changes in grooming or hygiene that seem out of character
- Noticeable weight loss or gain
- Medications that seem disorganized or missed
- Turning the TV up louder, missing parts of conversation, or squinting to read
Memory, mood, and social life
- Repeating the same story or question within a short time
- Pulling back from friends, clubs, or activities they used to enjoy
- Seeming more anxious, irritable, or withdrawn than usual
One sign on its own may not mean much. A pattern, or several changes at once, is worth a closer look.
Noticed something and not sure what it means? Our local team is happy to talk it through. Call BrightStar Care Greater Scottsdale at 480-302-5139.
How to notice without turning the visit into an inspection
Nobody wants Thanksgiving to feel like a home evaluation. Offer to help with the cooking, which gives you a natural look at the kitchen. Go for a walk together after the meal and enjoy Scottsdale's mild November weather. Run an errand together and let them drive, so you can get a feel for how driving is going. Ask open questions like "What's been the hardest part of the week lately?" and listen without jumping to solutions.
What not to do
- Don't bring it up at the table. Big conversations in front of a crowd can feel embarrassing. Save them for a calm, private moment.
- Don't make decisions for them. Your loved one should be part of every conversation about their life and care.
- Don't read too much into one day. Holidays are tiring for anyone. Look for patterns.
- Don't try to solve everything this weekend. Use the holiday to notice and listen. Planning can come next.
When you live out of state
Many families gather in Scottsdale for the holidays and then head home to different states. Before you fly out:
Choose a point person. Agree on who coordinates updates and next steps.
Make a contact list. Gather numbers for doctors, neighbors, and a nearby friend who can check in.
Set a check-in rhythm. A regular call or video chat makes it easier to notice changes over time.
Connect with local resources. The City of Scottsdale's Granite Reef Senior Center (1700 N. Granite Reef Rd.) and Via Linda Senior Center (10440 E. Via Linda) offer social activities like bridge, music, and book groups, plus free medical equipment loans.
Line up local support. An in-home caregiver can provide regular, dependable help between your visits.
After the holiday
Talk as a family about what each person noticed. Then have a gentle conversation with your loved one, starting with care: "We want to make sure you can keep doing the things you love at home. What would make that easier?" Mention any changes in memory, mobility, weight, hearing, or vision to their healthcare provider at the next appointment.
Frequently asked questions
How can I check on a parent when I live out of state?
Set up regular calls, keep a list of local contacts, ask a nearby friend or neighbor to check in, and consider in-home support between visits.
Are there local resources for older adults in Scottsdale?
Yes. The City of Scottsdale runs the Granite Reef and Via Linda Senior Centers, and the Area Agency on Aging, Region One offers a 24-Hour Senior HELP LINE at 602-264-4357 for Maricopa County residents.
What if my parent says they don't need help?
That's a common first response. Keep the conversation open, start with one area where help could make life easier, and revisit the topic over time.
How BrightStar Care Greater Scottsdale can help
Whatever you noticed this Thanksgiving, support can match it. If the fridge was empty, we can help with meal preparation. If housekeeping has slipped, we can help keep the home safe and tidy. If your loved one has pulled back from friends, our caregivers offer companionship and can help them stay involved in activities they enjoy. If personal care or memory changes stood out, we provide personal care and memory and dementia care at home.
Every care plan is overseen by a Registered Nurse, built around your loved one's routines, preferences, and goals, and adjusted as needs change. BrightStar Care is accredited by The Joint Commission.
We serve families across Scottsdale, Fountain Hills, Rio Verde, Cave Creek, Carefree, Paradise Valley, and Fort McDowell.
Call 480-302-5139 or visit brightstarcare.com/locations/greater-scottsdale to talk with our local team.