Caring for a loved one with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from military service can be bittersweet. You love them and are proud of their service, but their anger or need to withdraw is painful. With patience, however, you can make living with PTSD easier for both of you.
People develop PTSD after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event, including combat. Symptoms can appear or worsen later in life, especially as other stressors build up over time.
If you’re a caregiver or family member caring for an aging veteran who has PTSD, here’s what you need to know about providing compassionate support.
Understanding PTSD in Veterans
A loved one with PTSD often has frightening thoughts and nightmares about what happened, and they can’t stop thinking about it. They may start feeling bad about themselves and the world around them.
They may become easily upset, hypervigilant (constantly alert), or have trouble focusing or sleeping. At the other extreme, they may seem emotionally numb or detached, avoiding social encounters, particularly those that could trigger bad memories.
Depression, isolation, and chronic irritability are common in older veterans with PTSD and can make life more difficult when combined with otherserious physical health problems such as heart disease, chronic pain, and diabetes. Age-related changes, such as retirement or losing loved ones, can also intensify PTSD symptoms for senior veterans.
It’s important to note that a person can go decades without PTSD symptoms, only for them to surface in their 60s or 70s. Some symptoms can even become more severe with age.
Common PTSD Symptoms in Veterans
PTSD shows up in various ways, but here are some of the most common signs in veterans:
- Flashbacks, nightmares, and intrusive thoughts: Your loved one may suddenly feel as if they are back in combat decades later. For example, they might wake up in the middle of the night, shouting from nightmares. Certain sounds like fireworks, helicopters, or a car backfiring can trigger flashbacks. Sometimes, dark thoughts or combat memories come back without an obvious trigger.
- Avoidance and intentional isolation: The veteran in your life may gradually pull away from others. They could decline invitations to family gatherings, avoid crowded restaurants, or refuse to watch the news because it reminds them of past experiences. They may also no longer be interested in hobbies they once enjoyed.
- Mood and emotional changes: Veterans may feel guilt or shame related to their service. This can show up as angry outbursts over minor frustrations, or, on the other hand, emotional numbness where they seem “flat” and detached. They may also develop a very negative self-image.
- Hyperarousal or hypervigilance: Your loved one may be easily startled. They could struggle to fall asleep or stay asleep, and you might notice them pacing around the house late at night.
The Link Between PTSD and Dementia
Dementia isn’t a symptom of PTSD, and PTSD doesn’t cause dementia, but PTSD is linked to a higher risk of developing dementia, especially among veterans.
In fact, PTSD symptoms may emerge or worsen with dementia. Research suggests that dementia makes it harder to filter out traumatic memories. Neurodegeneration—that is, changes in the brain caused by dementia—could also play a role in the worsening of symptoms.
How You Can Help a Veteran with PTSD
By learning as much as you can about PTSD in veterans and offering emotional support, you can be the ally your loved one needs. The more you understand what they’re going through, the easier it will be to offer meaningful support and remain patient throughout the healing process. Here are some ways you can help the veteran in your life.
Create a Safe, Predictable Environment
Avoid surprises, including major schedule changes or sudden loud noises. Try to create and maintain calm routines for your loved one, from regular meal times to consistent doctor visits.
If possible, establish a regular sleep routine. Dim the lights, reduce noise, and encourage your loved one to avoid stimulating activities right before bedtime.
Encourage Open Communication
Don’t push your loved one to talk if they aren’t ready, but make it easier for them to communicate when they are.
- Ask open-ended questions such as “How are you feeling today?”
- Avoid judgmental or dismissive language about their feelings or experiences; saying, “Oh, it can’t be that bad,” will only shut down communication.
- Listen patiently, offer encouragement where appropriate, acknowledge their feelings, and ask gentle questions to understand what they’re going through.
- Try nonverbal communication such as eye contact, touch, or even simple gestures, as these can convey love and support.
As you listen and connect, pay close attention: what they share may reveal potential triggers, such as certain noises, dates, or locations. You can’t remove every trigger from their environment, but you can mitigate the impact or limit your loved one’s exposure. At the very least, you’ll be better prepared.
Suggest Pleasant Activities
Provide positive distractions for your loved one, such as taking a walk or visiting a local restaurant. If your loved one is reluctant to go out, suggest something simple and nearby, like sitting on your patio or deck at home or doing some light gardening. If they still say no, respect their wish. Sometimes, quiet companionship is enough.
Respect Their Autonomy
Allow veterans to make their own choices whenever possible, especially regarding treatment options. After all, your loved one is an adult who has made many other important decisions during their life. Supporting their dignity and independence can go a long way in helping them feel supported.
Some veterans, especially men, can be reluctant to seek treatment due to stigma or military culture. If there’s no threat of them harming themselves or others, respect their decision not to seek treatment but continue to offer support and social connection.
Getting Professional Help for Veterans with PTSD
If your loved one isn’t already getting help, it may be time to seek professional support. Here are a few warning signs that your loved one may need professional help:
- Symptoms worsening over time
- Talk of hopelessness or self-harm
- Increased alcohol or substance use
- Complete withdrawal from family, friends, or normal routines
If you believe that you, your loved one, or someone in the household is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department immediately.
One of the most important things you can do is help your loved one get the right diagnosis and evidence-based treatment. Early detection and intervention for PTSD can improve their quality of life.
If the veteran you love wants treatment, support that decision. Offer to help them make the appointment. Providing transportation can be a huge help, and it makes it less likely they will back out at the last minute. If they’re comfortable, accompany them to the appointment.
You can also ask to be part of their treatment. If your loved one agrees, talk with their mental health providers regularly. Ask questions and take notes. Many clinicians welcome family involvement, recognizing how PTSD affects veterans’ social relationships. Then, help them follow the treatment plan.
PTSD Treatment Options
Treatment for PTSD can take different forms and provide different benefits, so be sure to consult a healthcare professional who specializes in mental health and trauma about your loved one’s care options. They can recommend a personalized treatment plan and help you find local resources.
Some of the most common PTSD treatment options for veterans include talk therapy, group therapy, and medication.
Talk Therapy
Talk therapy can be highly effective for veterans with PTSD. These approaches help veterans confront and process traumatic memories in a safe, structured way:
- Cognitive processing therapy (CPT): CPT helps identify and reframe upsetting thoughts and feelings. Your loved one will learn coping strategies to live a more fulfilling life.
- Prolonged exposure therapy (PE): PE encourages gradually revisiting trauma-related memories, feelings, and situations that your loved one may have been avoiding.
- Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR): EMDR uses guided eye movements (and sometimes audible prompts, such as a tone) to help individuals process traumatic memories.
Telehealth options may make it easier for someone with limited mobility—or those still hesitant to venture out much—to participate in talk therapy.
Group Therapy for Veterans
Group therapy, specifically for veterans with PTSD, can offer peer support and validation. It’s a chance for veterans to talk with others who understand their experiences and struggles.
Participants often share valuable learning and coping skills that others may not have thought of. These sessions are usually supervised by a trained professional who aims to ensure discussions are productive and safety-focused.
Medication
Three medications are typically prescribed to help reduce PTSD symptoms. All are antidepressants—either SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) or SNRIs (serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors):
- Sertraline (Zoloft): SSRI; FDA-approved for PTSD
- Paroxetine (Paxil): SSRI; FDA-approved for PTSD
- Venlafaxine (Effexor): SNRI; not FDA-approved for PTSD
Resources for Veterans and Caregivers
The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) and other organizations can help the veteran in your life get the support they need. Here are a few options:
- VA National Center for PTSD: Information, tools, and treatment options
- VA Vet Centers (Readjustment Counseling): Confidential counseling and support for eligible veterans and their families
- VA Caregiver Support Program: Information related to caregiving and available support and services, 855-260-3274
- Veterans Crisis Line: 24/7 confidential crisis support: dial 988, then press 1, or text 838255
- Make the Connection: Stories from and resources for veterans
- Wounded Warrior Project Resource Center: Connect with WWP programs and resources in the community by calling 888-997-2586 or emailing resourcecenter@woundedwarriorproject.org
How Home Care Can Support Veterans with PTSD
Caring for someone with PTSD can be overwhelming, so it's important to take care of your emotional and physical health, too. Professional in-home caregivers make this possible by providing steady companionship for your loved one while you recharge. They offer respite care for you and other family members for a few hours or even a few days.
These trained caregivers can help reduce triggers by maintaining routines, assisting with daily tasks, and simply being a consistent, comforting presence.
Although off-site respite care is available, in-home respite care allows your loved one to be surrounded by sights and sounds they’re familiar with—something very important for people with PTSD. Also, veterans may qualify for VA-funded home care benefits, making professional support more accessible.
BrightStar Care Proudly Serves Those Who Served
Supporting a veteran with PTSD requires patience, understanding, and a calm, structured environment. It also means never forgetting that your loved one is an adult who deserves autonomy and dignity.
By learning about PTSD, advocating for appropriate care, and offering consistent, compassionate support, you can help your loved one maintain a better quality of life. And remember: you don’t have to do this alone. Resources and healthcare professionals are available to help you and your loved one not only survive, but thrive.
Through nurse-led care plans, BrightStar Care can help you support the veteran you love with in-home care services ranging from companion care to skilled nursing. We can also help you access veteran-specific resources.
Whether you're looking for in-home care services or a reliable medical staffing partner for your organization, our experienced local care team members are ready to help. Find a location near you, contact us online, or call 866-618-7827 to learn more about how BrightStar Care offers A Higher Standard®.